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True Variety In Sex

June 04, 2023

 

What is a true variety in a sex life?

First, we need to understand that variety is not what drives your sex life.

This is the accepted view in our culture: that variety is what will keep your sex life alive in a relationship. We are supposed to always find new things to try to maintain our interest in sex. Actually, this creates a superficial clickbait dynamic in our sex life.

The real driver of a sex life is value. Sex doesn’t have to be always new or varied. It needs to be always good. It needs to enrich you. If you have sex that brings real value into your life then even if it is not particularly varied you will want to have it regularly because you feel how much better it makes your life.

You don’t need to focus on variety - you need to create value.

And then the true variety is different experiences of that energy.

We often practise a certain ‘false variety’ in our culture. We have a lot of fun and exciting things to choose from, and lots of tools for a physical sensation. Normally, variety is about the initial sexual stimulus to get aroused - a new scenario, location, game, flirt, outfit, something exciting to try.

But then whichever initial stimulus is used, or whichever tool, the sex itself carries on in pretty much the same way. We want to feel excitement, passionate turn-on, then stimulation to build up tension, and a release through an orgasm.

So sex may start in a hundred different ways but it then goes in the same sequence through the same experience.

True variety is when fun and exciting is only one of the options.

True variety is when in your sex life you create different emotional, aesthetic and spiritual experiences. Different moods and feelings. Different energies that nourish your heart and soul. Different places that enrich you in different ways.

You can create in sex a whole spectrum of shared human experiences. You express different parts of your relationship, different things you love to feel together. You go together into different beautiful places in that world of sexual energy, and you and enriched by the specific energy unique to that place.

This is how you enjoy a really plentiful, colourful and satisfying sexual relationship.

You can actually learn how to ‘cook’ different qualities of sexual energy that will feed your different needs as a couple - such as erotic, passionate, nurturing, regenerative, loving, etc. You can create that quality of sexual energy according to your daily needs.

And in fact, you can put a few moods into same sex act. It is very easy to make variety by simply not following any sequence.

In fact there is no sequence in sex. You are just drinking one moment after another. You can move freely from one moment to whatever you want to feel next.

If you just take off the goal of getting to the orgasm then the whole sequence disappears. You are completely free to feel anything you want at any moment. Because now the only purpose is to take in and absorb every moment.

This creates a ‘randomly generated sequence’. You are moving from one moment to another completely spontaneously, just following your wish. You will never do exactly the same thing twice. Sometimes it will be drastically different. You create a unique sequence of sex every time, composed of unique string of moments that nourished you. It can go in any pattern of intensity and put physical acts in any sequence.

Having no sequence creates infinite variety.

And ultimately, variety in sex doesn’t need to be manufactured. You can simply align with your energy on any given day.

If you are bursting with sexy energy then you will naturally have passionate and erotic sex.

If you are in low energy, then you will naturally want to have relaxed, slow and nourishing sex.

If have sexual tension, you may get an intense release. If you feel you need to restore your energy, you may choose ongoing orgasmic waves without a release.

You harmonise with what your energy needs today. This way you can always have sex, it is always right for the day, and it always feeds you with what you need.

The world of sex is vast continent with many beautiful corners to go to bask in that beautiful energy. This is the beauty of variety in sex - the energy in sex is always gorgeous but it has different colours for your heart and soul.

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